Ok, so I work at a coffeeshop. As weird as this may sound, I really enjoy my job. I love interacting with people, and I am a morning person; so it just seems to fit. However, I just want to bitch for a second about asshole people. I am so fucking tired of dealing with complete jerks coming into the store and treating me like a moron. Just because someone is serving you in one way or another Mr. High-Up Bank Dude does not mean that he or she is stupid. There is no need to be condescending or demeaning. As a matter of fact, I would speak to someone in my position much nicer than I would a lot of other people because WE ARE SERVING YOU SOMETHING YOU ARE GOING TO INGEST. Plus, I have control over your caffeine level, so don't piss me off. Ha :)
I am currently in the middle of an amazing book. Everyone should check out The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. I know I am only half way through it, but I am loving it. As sad as it is, I kind of want to finish it because I have like 10 other amazing books stacked in my "to read" pile and they are driving me crazy.
I don't know if I have talked about this on here, but everyone should read the book Red Tent: especially any woman. It will completely change the way you feel as a woman and how you connect with other women. I can't wait to have daughters and re-read this book with them.
Speaking of daughters, I had this interesting conversation the other day. I was talking to the amazing Sarah, and I said something about how I hope I have boys when I have kids because I don't think I will be good raising girls. Well, Sarah called my ass out (thankfully). The more I thought about her comments, the more correct I realized she was. I am actually quite disgusted with myself for ever saying that. There is no doubt that I have reservations about having daughters. I know the shit that is ready in this world to greet them. However, as Sarah pointed out, I am someone who should be having daughters. I know that I am capable of raising intelligent, worldly, kick-ass feminist daughters. I know I will also raise kick-ass feminist sons that are gender sensitive, but I should never hope to not have daughters. Ugh....I grossed myself out even thinking like that.
Finally, an uplifting note, spring is finally on its fucking way. Woo.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Easter
So...as ridiculous as this is, this blog is in response to a lot of thinking I have done recently about my facebook status. Beings that the Christian community just recently celebrated Easter, I have been giving even more thought to my atheist ways. I have always been bugged by people saying "God Bless" to me despite people telling me that I am over-reacting and whatnot. I am not saying that I get pissed off when someone is just wishing me well, I just get annoyed. Easter has brought this level of annoyance to an increased level.
In trying to figure out what it is that annoys me about all of this, here is what I have come up with:
I think something that bothers me in general are assumptions based on normativity. Maybe this is weird, but I get annoyed when people assume that I am straight. Now, it is true that I do date men, but I think it's just this assumption that pisses me off. There is a large portion of our population that lives always having to fight this stereotype and assumption. Well, I guess I try to fight this normativity as well as a type of unification. And I think that is what pisses me off about wishing me a happy easter. Now I know that sounds ridiculous, but think about it for a second.
In this country there is such an extreme christian-normativity. Well I am not a christian. Some people say that I shouldn't say anything and should just like take the well-wishing. Which, I do to a certain extent. However, it just pisses me off that people assume such a personal thing like religion.
Maybe that's all part of it to. These so-called "religious" holidays are so far removed from religion and spirituality and instead are all about consumerism that it makes me sick. People say happy easter to anyone and everyone without even taking a second to think about the religious connotations of what they are saying. I mean easter is apparently the day the christ rose from the grave all zombie-like, right? Well, I don't believe that happened. So, I don't celebrate easter. So don't assume I do.
I guess it can very easily be thought that I am definitely over-reacting to all this. But honestly, the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. I mean, I could be jewish, muslim, hindu, christian, agnostic, anything. I know a LOT of christians who would be pissed if when we were hanging out and talking about something good happening in their lives I just responded with "praise be to allah" instead of "thank god." And these are the people that tell me that I shouldn't get upset about someone telling me happy easter. Well, maybe they don't even realize how religious that comment really is. It's just so ridiculous. Now I am all for all religions being able to do whatever makes them happy. They can pray, sing praise, worship in anyway they want. That's the whole point. But there shouldn't be this assumption regarding religion. So maybe I am over-reacting, but I have a voice and I am bound and determined to put that voice to good use. In this case, I am speaking up against the christian-normativity in this country. Don't assume that someone is christian. Ask. Start a dialogue. Understand a culture different than yours. If someone were to just ask me if I celebrate easter before sending me an empty "happy easter" sentiment, maybe we would get a little closer to understanding one another.
In trying to figure out what it is that annoys me about all of this, here is what I have come up with:
I think something that bothers me in general are assumptions based on normativity. Maybe this is weird, but I get annoyed when people assume that I am straight. Now, it is true that I do date men, but I think it's just this assumption that pisses me off. There is a large portion of our population that lives always having to fight this stereotype and assumption. Well, I guess I try to fight this normativity as well as a type of unification. And I think that is what pisses me off about wishing me a happy easter. Now I know that sounds ridiculous, but think about it for a second.
In this country there is such an extreme christian-normativity. Well I am not a christian. Some people say that I shouldn't say anything and should just like take the well-wishing. Which, I do to a certain extent. However, it just pisses me off that people assume such a personal thing like religion.
Maybe that's all part of it to. These so-called "religious" holidays are so far removed from religion and spirituality and instead are all about consumerism that it makes me sick. People say happy easter to anyone and everyone without even taking a second to think about the religious connotations of what they are saying. I mean easter is apparently the day the christ rose from the grave all zombie-like, right? Well, I don't believe that happened. So, I don't celebrate easter. So don't assume I do.
I guess it can very easily be thought that I am definitely over-reacting to all this. But honestly, the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. I mean, I could be jewish, muslim, hindu, christian, agnostic, anything. I know a LOT of christians who would be pissed if when we were hanging out and talking about something good happening in their lives I just responded with "praise be to allah" instead of "thank god." And these are the people that tell me that I shouldn't get upset about someone telling me happy easter. Well, maybe they don't even realize how religious that comment really is. It's just so ridiculous. Now I am all for all religions being able to do whatever makes them happy. They can pray, sing praise, worship in anyway they want. That's the whole point. But there shouldn't be this assumption regarding religion. So maybe I am over-reacting, but I have a voice and I am bound and determined to put that voice to good use. In this case, I am speaking up against the christian-normativity in this country. Don't assume that someone is christian. Ask. Start a dialogue. Understand a culture different than yours. If someone were to just ask me if I celebrate easter before sending me an empty "happy easter" sentiment, maybe we would get a little closer to understanding one another.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Where to begin?
So last night I wanted Bill Maher's Religulous. Overall, great movie with great points. A couple of things I did not like about it: 1) it was obviously clipped together in a way that made the interviewees look uneducated and dumb. If Maher's point was really "doubt" and that nobody knows the truth, he should not have set out to make religious people look as ridiculous as he did. It went against his proposed point. 2) I did not like his portrayal of Islam. He very much attempted to show it as being an incredibly violent religion. I don't think he did justice to the faith, and I also don't believe he drew as many parallels between Christianity and Islam.
I was a big fan of the movie overall. Despite my critiques of it, I do believe that it had quite a few good points.
One of which was similar to the one I made in a conversation I recently had with an old friend. We were discussing religion, and the current state of the environment came up. I have a large problem with religions predicting the end of the world because it seems as though a lot of religious people are saying that the current environmental problems could be the beginning of the end of the world as predicted by their religions. HOWEVER, with this comes a lack of responsibility for each of our roles in the degredation of our world around us. That's one of my biggest problems with religion. A complete lack of responsibility for actions.
I mean let's take Christianity. God knows that we are all sinners. That's why she let her son die: for our sins. So as sinners, it is ok to sin as long as we repent and still believe that Jesus is the son of god. Well, you know...I take major issue with this. It is SO easy to say that we are all going to sin. No one is perfect. The only perfect person was jesus. That allows us to sleep at night. We don't have to be responsible for our actions. Now don't get me wrong, I have fucked up my fair share of times and did things I should not have done, but I have to deal with what I did. I don't trun to some go to ask for forgiveness. I deal with it within myself.
I am learning that there is a lot of power in my atheism, and I do need to be more vocal about it than I have been in the past because it is something that I feel quite strongly about.
So today, I was incredibly excited because I don't have to be at work until noon, so that means I get to watch the View! However, I turned on the tv to see that the cast of the View was at Disneyland, and Cinderella was right there with them. Now I did not even watch the entire show because I was so frustrated. Cinderella was standing behind the other girls, and she did not say a single word (except Thank you as she walked off). That's my EXACT problem with Fairy Tales. Any woman that I have respect for has a VOICE! She has an opinion on something. She speaks.
And this goes beyond stupid fairy tales (which I have TONS of problems with), I have realized that I enjoy surrounding myself with people that stand up for themselves and have a voice. I spent a lot of my life trying to be everything for everyone else, and for all intents and purposes, I had no voice. However, I have worked REALLY hard over the past few years to develop and explore my voice. And I enjoy people who have done the same. I don't care if a person's opinions are the complete opposite of mine, I just respect people who have some sort of an opinion and voice.
I was a big fan of the movie overall. Despite my critiques of it, I do believe that it had quite a few good points.
One of which was similar to the one I made in a conversation I recently had with an old friend. We were discussing religion, and the current state of the environment came up. I have a large problem with religions predicting the end of the world because it seems as though a lot of religious people are saying that the current environmental problems could be the beginning of the end of the world as predicted by their religions. HOWEVER, with this comes a lack of responsibility for each of our roles in the degredation of our world around us. That's one of my biggest problems with religion. A complete lack of responsibility for actions.
I mean let's take Christianity. God knows that we are all sinners. That's why she let her son die: for our sins. So as sinners, it is ok to sin as long as we repent and still believe that Jesus is the son of god. Well, you know...I take major issue with this. It is SO easy to say that we are all going to sin. No one is perfect. The only perfect person was jesus. That allows us to sleep at night. We don't have to be responsible for our actions. Now don't get me wrong, I have fucked up my fair share of times and did things I should not have done, but I have to deal with what I did. I don't trun to some go to ask for forgiveness. I deal with it within myself.
I am learning that there is a lot of power in my atheism, and I do need to be more vocal about it than I have been in the past because it is something that I feel quite strongly about.
So today, I was incredibly excited because I don't have to be at work until noon, so that means I get to watch the View! However, I turned on the tv to see that the cast of the View was at Disneyland, and Cinderella was right there with them. Now I did not even watch the entire show because I was so frustrated. Cinderella was standing behind the other girls, and she did not say a single word (except Thank you as she walked off). That's my EXACT problem with Fairy Tales. Any woman that I have respect for has a VOICE! She has an opinion on something. She speaks.
And this goes beyond stupid fairy tales (which I have TONS of problems with), I have realized that I enjoy surrounding myself with people that stand up for themselves and have a voice. I spent a lot of my life trying to be everything for everyone else, and for all intents and purposes, I had no voice. However, I have worked REALLY hard over the past few years to develop and explore my voice. And I enjoy people who have done the same. I don't care if a person's opinions are the complete opposite of mine, I just respect people who have some sort of an opinion and voice.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Gender Relationships
The mind is not asleep just yet...
So I was reading this article on Feministing.com, and I came across this way of looking at the gender roles within a relationship that was new to me. Well a little background is that there is a woman who is dating a man who enjoys cross-dressing. The woman wants to be alright with it, but it is causing problems in her, the relationship, (ugh damn oxford commas! I don't know if I need one there or not!) and their sex life. So, the woman wrote into another woman, and here is an excerpt from her response.
"Gender matters in relationships. I don't mean gender as in sex. I mean gender as the percentage we want our partners to be masculine and feminine. You found someone whose percentage worked for you - both sexually and in a relationship - now that percentage has changed. What does this mean for your own percentage?"
Now I admit that I am going to work this out on here. I haven't given much thought to this yet, so some of my comments may be ignorant at first. Hopefully they will work their way into some intelligent synthesis.
I am thinking about the proportions of the different genders (masculine and feminine) within relationships in my life. The typical ones are the least interesting (no offense). I mean I have one friend who is uber-girly (in a wonderful way), so obviously the guy that she is dating is super masculine. They seem to fit together in a predictable yin-yang kind of way.
But what about other relationships that aren't as cut and dry? If you have a masculine, straight woman, is she going to be attracted to a more feminine man? Or, is it just each person has his or her own comfort level and desired level of each gender within the relationship?
I am trying to sort out my feelings regarding this gendered outlook on relationships. In a way it makes sense. But on another level, I think it kind of perpetuates the socialized definitions of "masculine" and "feminine." I also think that it can easily be used to perpetuate these standardized roles within relationships. It is just odd to think of someone as a percentage feminine and a percentage masculine. I can't put my finger on what bothers me about it exactly, but I know something does. I think just the usage of the words bothers me for some weird reason.
I think the woman was basically saying that because the girl now knows that her boyfriend cross-dresses, his masculine to feminine ratio has been altered. He is now more feminine. But does cross-dressing necessarily make a man feminine? I am trying to think of real-life examples. Let's take Ellen Degeneres for an example. I think she partakes in cross-dressing (at a VERY socially-acceptable level). She wears stereotypically "male" clothing. I think that people do deem her to be more masculine.
BUT, what I find interesting is the sex appeal of a woman wearing men's clothing as well. There's that rock band commercial (or guitar hero...don't know) in which they are re-enacting the infamous scene from Risky Business. I think most men would agree that when Heidi Klum is wearing the underware and man's white collared shirt, there is nothing "masculine" about it.
So, maybe that's where I have the problem. It is not that the usage of the concept of a masculine-feminine percentage of a person, it is the leap from a man cross-dressing to him obviously being more feminine.
Hmmm....still can't wrap my head around it right now. Something to think about though....
So I was reading this article on Feministing.com, and I came across this way of looking at the gender roles within a relationship that was new to me. Well a little background is that there is a woman who is dating a man who enjoys cross-dressing. The woman wants to be alright with it, but it is causing problems in her, the relationship, (ugh damn oxford commas! I don't know if I need one there or not!) and their sex life. So, the woman wrote into another woman, and here is an excerpt from her response.
"Gender matters in relationships. I don't mean gender as in sex. I mean gender as the percentage we want our partners to be masculine and feminine. You found someone whose percentage worked for you - both sexually and in a relationship - now that percentage has changed. What does this mean for your own percentage?"
Now I admit that I am going to work this out on here. I haven't given much thought to this yet, so some of my comments may be ignorant at first. Hopefully they will work their way into some intelligent synthesis.
I am thinking about the proportions of the different genders (masculine and feminine) within relationships in my life. The typical ones are the least interesting (no offense). I mean I have one friend who is uber-girly (in a wonderful way), so obviously the guy that she is dating is super masculine. They seem to fit together in a predictable yin-yang kind of way.
But what about other relationships that aren't as cut and dry? If you have a masculine, straight woman, is she going to be attracted to a more feminine man? Or, is it just each person has his or her own comfort level and desired level of each gender within the relationship?
I am trying to sort out my feelings regarding this gendered outlook on relationships. In a way it makes sense. But on another level, I think it kind of perpetuates the socialized definitions of "masculine" and "feminine." I also think that it can easily be used to perpetuate these standardized roles within relationships. It is just odd to think of someone as a percentage feminine and a percentage masculine. I can't put my finger on what bothers me about it exactly, but I know something does. I think just the usage of the words bothers me for some weird reason.
I think the woman was basically saying that because the girl now knows that her boyfriend cross-dresses, his masculine to feminine ratio has been altered. He is now more feminine. But does cross-dressing necessarily make a man feminine? I am trying to think of real-life examples. Let's take Ellen Degeneres for an example. I think she partakes in cross-dressing (at a VERY socially-acceptable level). She wears stereotypically "male" clothing. I think that people do deem her to be more masculine.
BUT, what I find interesting is the sex appeal of a woman wearing men's clothing as well. There's that rock band commercial (or guitar hero...don't know) in which they are re-enacting the infamous scene from Risky Business. I think most men would agree that when Heidi Klum is wearing the underware and man's white collared shirt, there is nothing "masculine" about it.
So, maybe that's where I have the problem. It is not that the usage of the concept of a masculine-feminine percentage of a person, it is the leap from a man cross-dressing to him obviously being more feminine.
Hmmm....still can't wrap my head around it right now. Something to think about though....
Sadly nothing exciting
So this weekend is over, and I hate to report that my mind did not stumble onto too many fabulous things over the past few days. Therefore, nothing too exciting to report. However, I am incredibly excited about some new book purchases.
First off, I am finishing up Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. Rock on Margaret. This book is pretty stellar. Atwood is a well-known feminist writer, and the way that she intertwines feminist issues into a novel such as Blind Assassin is pretty badass. Rock on.
I cashed my tips and of course found myself at the used bookstore to see what I could get for $14 bucks. I walked out with some treasures. I of course bought another Tom Robbins book. He just is so damn progressive with how he writes. Vonnegut-esc, and we all know I love Vonnegut. So yea, I picked up "Even Cowgirls get the Blues."
I also FINALLY purches a copy of Madame Bovary. Super excited to delve into this one at some point in time.
I also made a much-needed addition to my ever-growing book collection: A Brave New World. I don't know how, but this one has slipped lower and lower on my book list over the past few years (embarrassingly, I know), and I have yet to have ever read it.
So yea, three new purchases plus many more on my list to borrow from Sarah. Ha Sarah and I joke all the time about moving in together and how amazing it is going to be. We are going to have the most kick ass book collection ever.
So other than a few book purchases, I also got certified as a barista at Caribou. Pretty sweet huh? I make a mean latte.....
Final thought before I try to get sleepy (work at 5 am), Damien Rice is amazing. 9 might be one of the best cds I have listened to in a while. Fits my mood pretty perfectly right now.
Hoping to have something worth reading to throw down on here in the next couple of days....
First off, I am finishing up Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood. Rock on Margaret. This book is pretty stellar. Atwood is a well-known feminist writer, and the way that she intertwines feminist issues into a novel such as Blind Assassin is pretty badass. Rock on.
I cashed my tips and of course found myself at the used bookstore to see what I could get for $14 bucks. I walked out with some treasures. I of course bought another Tom Robbins book. He just is so damn progressive with how he writes. Vonnegut-esc, and we all know I love Vonnegut. So yea, I picked up "Even Cowgirls get the Blues."
I also FINALLY purches a copy of Madame Bovary. Super excited to delve into this one at some point in time.
I also made a much-needed addition to my ever-growing book collection: A Brave New World. I don't know how, but this one has slipped lower and lower on my book list over the past few years (embarrassingly, I know), and I have yet to have ever read it.
So yea, three new purchases plus many more on my list to borrow from Sarah. Ha Sarah and I joke all the time about moving in together and how amazing it is going to be. We are going to have the most kick ass book collection ever.
So other than a few book purchases, I also got certified as a barista at Caribou. Pretty sweet huh? I make a mean latte.....
Final thought before I try to get sleepy (work at 5 am), Damien Rice is amazing. 9 might be one of the best cds I have listened to in a while. Fits my mood pretty perfectly right now.
Hoping to have something worth reading to throw down on here in the next couple of days....
Thursday, March 5, 2009
More Randomness
I love Rachel Maddow. Thanks to the rents for introducing me to her. Unfortunately I don't get to watch her as much as I would like. However, two of my worlds collided today. Yes, Rachel Maddow was on The View. Because of work I couldn't watch it as it aired, but trust me, I checked it out on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjZmErjFhK4
She is just awesome. Sometimes I just laugh though when people who are gay are asked about their "coming out" moment. Haha. I think it is so ridiculous that it is still such a big deal. I mean seriously, I don't remember having to have a conversation with my parents telling them that I think I like boys ha. Well, sexuality is just ridiculous anyway. I don't feel the need to define my sexuality. Is that weird? I don't think so. Sometimes I just want to shake things up a bit. It's so funny how everything has to be black or white. Think about it, when you first see a person, your brain has been trained to immediately identify the person as male or female, black or white, gay or straight. Those are the thoughts that immediately and normally sub-consciously go through your head. Isn't that just crazy? That's something I am actively attempting to reprogram within myself. A little gray never killed anyone, and honestly, I am finding it liberating.
It's just so funny how society has to place people into boxes. Democrat or republican. Male or female. Black or white. Gay or straight. Believer or "non-believer". Citizen or immigrant. Conformist or social deviant.
Come on people, let's open our minds. There exists other options. Remember those multiple choice tests we used to take?
A. Democrat
B. Republican
C. None of the above
D. Both A & B
Let's start opening our minds to options C and D. It can apply in all the situations I mentioned earlier. I mean, think about it....
A. Straight
B. Gay
C. None of the above
D. Both A & B
Go ahead and apply it to the others. Allow your mind to open up a little bit and not be so set in stone. Liberate yourself. Liberate others.
She is just awesome. Sometimes I just laugh though when people who are gay are asked about their "coming out" moment. Haha. I think it is so ridiculous that it is still such a big deal. I mean seriously, I don't remember having to have a conversation with my parents telling them that I think I like boys ha. Well, sexuality is just ridiculous anyway. I don't feel the need to define my sexuality. Is that weird? I don't think so. Sometimes I just want to shake things up a bit. It's so funny how everything has to be black or white. Think about it, when you first see a person, your brain has been trained to immediately identify the person as male or female, black or white, gay or straight. Those are the thoughts that immediately and normally sub-consciously go through your head. Isn't that just crazy? That's something I am actively attempting to reprogram within myself. A little gray never killed anyone, and honestly, I am finding it liberating.
It's just so funny how society has to place people into boxes. Democrat or republican. Male or female. Black or white. Gay or straight. Believer or "non-believer". Citizen or immigrant. Conformist or social deviant.
Come on people, let's open our minds. There exists other options. Remember those multiple choice tests we used to take?
A. Democrat
B. Republican
C. None of the above
D. Both A & B
Let's start opening our minds to options C and D. It can apply in all the situations I mentioned earlier. I mean, think about it....
A. Straight
B. Gay
C. None of the above
D. Both A & B
Go ahead and apply it to the others. Allow your mind to open up a little bit and not be so set in stone. Liberate yourself. Liberate others.
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