So I am addicted to feministing.com. Honestly, very few things make me both concurrently elated and pissed off at the same time. Feministing.com is definitely one of those things.
This morning, I decided to pamper myself a bit by not immediately tackling my mile-long to do list, and instead, I brewed some Caribou coffee (one of the perks of the job ha), turned on some Ani and sat down in front of my computer screen.
Like always, feministing.com failed to let me down. First off, everyone should read this speech if you get a few minutes about the rise of the so-called "hook-up culture" on college campuses. It is absolutely brilliant and brings up a number of interesting issues and contradictions that face women every day. Check it out here: http://www.feministing.com/archives/013806.html#more
But while checking out the newest posts, I came across this article that truly touched home (a little more than every other article...). You can read it here if you are interested:
http://community.feministing.com/2009/02/stop-apologizing.html
But basically, here's the thing. Everyone who knows me well ends up commenting on the number of times I apologize. I always have attributed it to being brought up in a very polite family and just not wanting to unnecessarily ruffle any feathers. Why not just apologize and smooth over the situation? Well, after reading this article, I have actually started thinking about the real reasons as to why I apologize so damn much. I'm not joking you. The number of times I say "sorry" in a day could probably rival the number of times Bush mispronounced Iraq throughout his time in office.
So, I am actually taking this to heart. I'm done unnecessarily apologizing for EXISTING. I am allowed to walk, to breath, to speak, to exist. It is not something I should apologize. Much like the article states, if I do something actually "wrong" and harmful, I most certainly will apologize sincerely. However, I am going to actually make a promise to myself to stop apologizing for no reason. I am stronger than that. I realized that the reasons that I actually apologize so much are not because of my polite upbringing or anything of that sort. I, for approximately 20 years of my life, have viewed myself as inferiority to everyone around me. In my head everyone in the world is more welcome to the ground I walk on than I am. Everyone else has every right to voice his or her opinions, except me. Well, those days are limited.
I mean, take last night for example. I was on the phone with a wonderful friend, and I got on this huge sidebar. I talked for approximately 5 minutes straight about something that I assumed the other person didn't necessarily want to hear. However, it was something that had been bothering me about our relationship for a while, and it made me feel better to get it out there. It was not in any way mean or hurtful. My tirade was actually full of compliments and desires. However, because silence followed, I immediately began apologizing for voicing my opinion. Well, after reading this article, I am realizing how ridiculous that is....So, I'm not sorry. Whew...In some strange way I feel better.
It is amazing how empowering it can be to own your thoughts and feelings and not feel sorry for them....
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that article about over apologizing is very interesting indeed. i actually have found myself doing the same thing every now and then. also just a few days ago, there was a little altercation at my work between to of my co-workers. co-worker A apologizes for EVERYTHING, and i mean everything, and apparently co-worker B heard him apologize for something that should not require one and that was the straw that broke the camels back. anyway, that article was very timely on your part. thanks for that.
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