Ok...so I had no intention of writing again today, but the reality of it all is that this blog is proving to be incredibly therapeutic for me and I am learning more and more about myself through it all.

Well, obviously I am writing again. And therefore something had to provoke me to fire up the computer. Well, I stepped outside of my apartment earlier waiting for Sarah to pick me up. While waiting for the car to pull up, a man smiles at me. He has a handful of pamplets. He walks over and hands one to me. Not surprisingly, it is a pamplet titled "God's Simple Plan of Salvation." He says "I wouldn't want you to miss out on the single most important thing in your life." I read the title, and as both an atheist and an environmentalist, I incredibly politely just try to hand it back to him. Not being rude or inconsiderate in the least. I just hated to waste one of his pamplets on me. There could be someone else walking down the street that would put it to better use than I would. But, he gives me this smirk and says, "I think you need this and you wouldn't want to miss this opportunity to save yourself."

Now, like I said, I am an atheist. I try not to use the term "non-believer" because I don't believe it is an accurate representation of myself. The connotation of "nonbeliever" is that the only belief that exists is a belief in god. I "believe" in a number of things. I believe in the power of love. I believe in humanity. I believe in myself. I believe in peace. I believe in a number of things.

I also want to just put it out there that I have NO problems with any person based on his/her religion. The vast majority of my friends would be considered quite religious. They are all amazing people that I have had a number of long and intense conversations. We have a mutual respect for one another. I do not try to convert them to atheism, and they do not try to convert me to Christianity. I have also attempted the religious thing for myself a number of times. I have taken part in a busy-persons retreat, and I did not walk out of it feeling any closer to god or Jesus. I did leave with a friendship with a wonderful woman Sister Anna. I have been to church a number of times, and I have felt a wonderful feeling of community. It is powerful to have a room full of people believing in something together. However, I have always left those services feeling closer to humanity than to a god. Religion is awesome and works for a lot of people, just not me.

So, with that preface, I have to go back to this pamplet. I tried not to be offended by the chance encounter. I tried not to be offended by the man's smirk like he was better than me. I tried not to be offended by the words in this pamplet telling me that I was condemned to an eternity in "hell." Even more importantly, I tried not to be offended by this pamplet stating that anyone who does not believe in Jesus Christ as the son of god is condemned to an eternity in hell. But here's the thing. I am offended.

I find it incredibly hard to believe that a god who preaches the power of love would condemn anyone to a life of "hell:" especially moral individuals who either believe in a different god or who chose not to believe in a religion. I just find the whole concept of passing out pamplets that say I am going to hell completely unneccesary. An obvious "scare-tactic" such as this is not going to put me in a church (oh yes, did I forget to mention that this was a pamplet for a particular church - no alterior motives at all for this pamplet).

I recently read this book entitled "Lamb" by Christopher Moore. Now, this is an incredibly humorous approach to the topic, but Moore attempts to explain the missing 30 years of Jesus's life. In this incredibly funny and idealistic portrayal, Moore shows Jesus traveling the world with his best friend Biff, taking lessons and concepts from the other amazing religious leaders around the world. How wonderfully idealistic. Unity among all the religions....simply beautiful...

One final idea. I have always said that I think religion has this amazing way of providing individuals with this amazing sense of unity and community. It brings people together. It makes you feel as though you are part of something larger than yourself. Let's face it. Life can be painful, brutish and short. It is lonely. Painfully lonely at times. Vonnegut once said "Any time I see a person fleeing from reason and into religion, I think to myself, There goes a peson who simply cannot stand being so goddamned lonely anymore." Now I don't think I am as strong in my convictions as Vonnegut was (he had a few more decades on me...give me time), but I see his point. This world is a painfully lonely place. Religion helps to fill that void for a lot of people, and that is amazing. It strengthens them and gives them hope. I love that. I think religion can be such an amazing thing. However, it is just not for me. I fill that lonely void through a bus ride, a walk down a busy street, an afternoon in a park, a good book.

To each their own, but goodness, it concerns me that people are still passing out condescending pamplets telling people that if they do not believe in a Christian god and if they do not "save" themselves that they are going to hell.....

I am going to keep hoping for a new day.